Is It Really You?
by kirallie
Summary: AU look at Dean's return in S4. One-shot with setablished Wincest.


_Disclaimer: Do not own SPN._

_One-shot. Established Wincest. AU episode 1 s4._

**Is it Really You?**

With shaking hands he picked up the phone and dialled, praying the number was the same. Thankfully it rang but rang out. He hung up before voicemail could kick in, taking the coins as they fell into the dish. He reinserted them and dialled again, closing his eyes as he leant against the phone booth wall. He was so tired and confused, he didn't even know if it was real or just a new method of torture but he'd play along for even the smallest chance of hearing his voice again.

"Hello." The familiar voice had him nearly collapsing in the booth as he clutched the phone to his ear.

"Sammy." He whispered and he heard a thump on the other end.  
"Sam?" he called, worried about the thump.

"Who is this?" Sam demanded and Dean closed his eyes.

"It's me Sam, I don't know how but it's really me." Dean answered him.

"Don't lie! I won't fall for this." Sam spat and then hung up. Dean dug out some more coins and redialled, sighing when Sam didn't answer. So he continued to call back until Sam finally picked up, obviously annoyed by the continuous ringing.  
"Leave me alone!"

"Sammy please, don't hang up." Dean pleaded, holding his breath. He could hear Sam breathing on the other side but his brother didn't hang up on him again.  
"Did...did you make a deal?" He finally asked.

"I tried months ago, no demon would deal." Sam stated flatly and Dean nodded, despite the fact Sam couldn't see him.

"Sam I...I don't know where I am, I just dug myself out of a grave. I'm at a gas station and something went past, blew out the windows. I need help...I need you Sammy. I know you have no reason to believe it's me. You can do whatever tests it takes. I'm not even sure this is real and not just another twisted game." Dean admitted softly and he heard Sam's breath catch, not that he was much better.  
"Sammy please." He whispered.

"I don't...I can't believe you. Stay there, I'm coming. If this is a trick I'll kill you." Sam growled out and then hung up. Dean dropped the phone and slid down the wall to sit, huddled in the booth. Sam had said to stay there, that he was coming, so Dean stayed where he was, still in too much shock to do anything else. He stared blankly out at the gas station, waiting for Sam to arrive, shivering a bit as the sun started to set but then he heard it and a small smile appeared. He'd know his baby's engine anywhere. He watched as the Impala pulled in and then the driver's door opened. Dean nearly sobbed as a familiar form got out of the car to look around, one hand on a gun.  
"Hello?" Sam called out and Dean struggled to stand after sitting still for so long.

Sam spun around, hearing a noise and then froze as he saw the figure struggling to get off the floor of the phone booth. He frowned as he watched the uncoordinated movement until the monster was standing. It had to be a monster, Dean was dead. He kept his hand hovering over his gun and took a step closer, trying to get a good look in the gathering gloom.

"Sammy." The oh so familiar voice called and Sam fought back the urge to cry out Dean's name and go to him. It was not his brother! He stayed still as it moved closer and finally got a good look. It looked like Dean, was even wearing the clothes he'd buried Dean in, which meant it either knew, had dug Dean's body up to look or was using Dean's body.

"Christo." Sam said but there was no flinch and the eyes remained green. He pulled out a flask and it held out its hand to take it. Sam tossed it instead of risking getting closer and the monster opened it, taking several deep drinks from it with no reaction. So, not a demon.

"Silver next?" the creature asked and Sam pulled out his knife but then stopped, no way was he handing over a weapon.  
"It's okay Sam, I won't move." It said, holding its arm out and rolling up the green sleeve. Sam moved cautiously closer and then made a shallow cut, watching as red, human blood leaked from the wound. He stared into its eyes, looking for something to give it away but there was nothing. It smiled sadly at him, green eyes showing misery, love, confusion and fear, and Sam swallowed. He dropped the knife and took another step closer and then another until he was right in front of it. He reached out to touch the dirt stained face and green eyes closed as their owner leant into his touch. The flesh was warm and solid beneath his hand.

"Dean?" he whispered in shock and Dean opened his eyes, nodding at him.

"It's me Sammy." Dean told him and then Sam felt familiar arms wrap around him. He remained frozen and tense, waiting for an attack but it never came and he slowly relaxed before wrapping his own arms around Dean. Sam moved back enough to stare down at Dean who was still clinging to him.

"I...Dean, how?" Sam asked and Dean bit his lip.

"I don't know. Woke up in a pine box, had to dig myself out. The magazine...four months?" Dean asked and Sam nodded.

"I...I couldn't burn so the grave was all I could do."

"Kind of glad you couldn't. Promise you didn't make a deal." Dean demanded and Sam smiled shakily but nodded.

"Promise. I tried but they said they had what they wanted. Why let you go?" Sam asked warily and Dean shrugged.

"I don't know." Then he laughed brokenly.  
"Don't even know if this is really real." He muttered and Sam swallowed before pulling him close again. He knew this was really Dean now so he had to help him, convince him he was really out of hell.

"It's real Dean, I've got you." He whispered and then kissed him. Dean gasped but then he was kissing Sam back, clinging to him desperately.  
"Love you, missed you so much." Sam panted when they parted for air and Dean stared up at him before reaching out to trace Sam's face.

"They...always knew it wasn't you. We kept this from them, even Meg somehow. Sammy." Dean said and Sam realised what Dean was really saying. They'd tried to trick Dean using Sam's form before but they hadn't known they'd been closer than brothers since shortly after their Dad had died. The fake Sam's wouldn't have kissed Dean like he was their sole reason for living and that had given them away.

"Yeah Dean, I'm here, I'm real. Come on, let's get you cleaned up. Bet you're starving." Sam said and Dean nodded, his energy almost gone. As if sensing that Sam wrapped an arm around him, steadying him as they made their way to the car.

"Missed you baby." Dean whispered, reaching out to pat the roof as Sam opened the passenger door for him. Dean revealed exactly how tired he was by not once asking to drive. Dean settled into the seat and Sam got in, starting the engine before nearly jumping when Dean latched onto his arm. Sam took his hand off the wheel and put it on the seat in offering, a few seconds later Dean's was entwined with his. Dean's hand stayed in his the entire drive, even once Dean fell asleep. Sam glanced over every few minutes, smiling every time he saw Dean sleeping peacefully beside him. How long had he prayed for it to happen? He didn't know how Dean was back but frankly he didn't care. Without Dean there was nothing to live for and anything that tried to get to Dean would have to go through him.

When Sam finally pulled into the motel and turned off the engine Dean started awake, eyes wide, but he relaxed when Sam squeezed his hand, green eyes locking with hazel. Sam smiled at him and then released his hand to get out of the car. He was about to head to the room when he saw Dean was practically hyperventilating so he moved to the passenger side, opened the door and then knelt down.

"Hey, it's alright Dean. I was just going to open the door first but I guess we can do it together." He soothed and Dean went red in embarrassment, looking away.  
"Dean look at me. You went through...well hell. I know I can't begin to understand what happened to you down there but I will not leave you. Now let's go inside and get you cleaned up." Sam held out his hand and Dean took it, letting his brother help him out of the car. He was a little confused when Sam guided him to the boot but then he stared in awe as Sam pulled Dean's own bag out.

"You...why?" Dean asked, reaching out to touch the worn cloth.

"I couldn't put it in storage. I knew you'd need it again one day." Sam admitted and Dean smiled, leaning into him. Dean let Sam do most of the work getting them to the room, his smile widening when he saw the queen sized bed and one of his shirts on the second pillow. Sam shrugged, looking embarrassed but Dean was happy to know Sam had truly missed him. Sam put Dean's bag on the bed and opened it, pulling out a pair of sweats and a t-shirt before he led Dean to the bathroom. Dean swayed on his feet, still exhausted, as Sam got the shower ready. Dean leant heavily on Sam as Sam gently washed the dirt off him, letting Sam do all the work while he struggled with accepting he was out of hell. Sam knew Dean was fighting to believe he was real so he littered the cleaning with gentle touches and kisses. He finished quickly and then helped Dean dress before they both collapsed into bed, Sam the one closest to the door for once.

"Sammy?" Dean asked sleepily, forcing his eyes open.

"Shh, sleep Dean, I'm here." Sam whispered, gently running his fingers through Dean's hair. Dean kept forcing his eyes open every few minutes for a while but eventually he couldn't stay awake any longer.

Sam stayed awake all night, soothing Dean whenever it appeared that a nightmare was starting. It gave time for Sam to think about things anyway. First thing first, Dean was obviously going to need time to deal with what had happened to him and that he was alive again. That meant a safe place to stay for at least several months. Ruby wouldn't be impressed but frankly Sam didn't care what the demon thought. He knew she'd been trying to get him to sleep with her but he would never betray Dean like that. But he had betrayed Dean, hadn't he? He'd done the one thing Dean had made him promise not to, he'd used his powers, had even enjoyed the rush they gave him. But that was ending, he would not hurt Dean by lying about what he had done but he was through with that now.

The sun had just come up when Dean began to move restlessly so Sam decided to wake him up happily. He leant over and kissed Dean, smiling when Dean responded in his sleep. Sam shifted them until Dean was on his back and started slowly exploring his boy, making sure he still remembered all those little spots that drove Dean wild. Dean began to moan a little in his sleep and then finally green eyes fluttered open, eventually focusing on Sam. Sam raised his head and smiled at Dean.

"Morning sleepyhead." Sam greeted and Dean swallowed heavily before reaching out to Sam.

"Sammy?" Dean whispered and Sam nodded.

"Still me Dean, you're out and safe." Sam assured him, moving so they were face to face. Dean reached out and traced Sam's face shakily. Dean closed his eyes in relief and Sam hugged him.  
"Feeling hungry?" He asked and Dean nodded, turning his head away.  
"Dean? What's wrong?" Sam asked and Dean sat up, his back to Sam.

"Hey, come on Dean. Please talk to me." Sam pleaded and Dean took a deep breath, still staring at the wall.

"You...you shouldn't touch me. I...you don't know what I did...what they..." Dean couldn't finish and Sam could see his body trembling. Sam slowly moved closer, making enough noise so he wouldn't startle Dean and gently reached out to tug Dean back into his arms. Dean put up a token struggle before going limp and Sam gently kissed the side of his face.

"I love you Dean, you're my brother, best friend and lover all rolled into one and nothing will ever change that. I know I can't even begin to understand what you've been through but I want you to listen to me. Nothing that happened there, nothing they did to you or made you do, because anything you might have done down there they made you do even if you believe otherwise, can change the way I feel." Sam stated fiercely and Dean twisted around to stare at him with wide eyes. Dean was breathing heavily and Sam was getting really worried about him.  
"I love you." Sam told him again and Dean seemed to just collapse in his arms.  
"You don't have to talk about what happened but I'll listen if you want."

"I...I can't. I'm sorry I just can't...but..." Dean closed his eyes and then opened them to stare up at Sam who smiled shakily at him.  
"It...it wasn't four months...not there." Dean admitted and Sam bit his lip to keep from yelling at the unfairness of it all. It had been bad enough for him living those four months but Dean? How long had it been for him?

"Can you tell me how long?" Sam asked and Dean swallowed but nodded eventually.

"Forty years." He answered and Sam hugged him closer.

"But you're here now and you're not going back there." Sam told him and Dean nodded.  
"So how about some food?" Sam offered, knowing Dean needed the break from talk about hell. Dean nodded and got up but then stared at the door. Sam looked at him and then gently nudged Dean back onto the bed.

"Sammy?" Dean asked and Sam smiled at him.

"You stay here; grab another shower if you want. I'll be back in a few minutes, there's a diner attached." Sam told him and Dean flushed but nodded.  
"Hey, it's okay. We'll go as slow as you need." Sam told him and then he left the room to go and get breakfast.

As soon as he was gone Dean angrily slammed his fist into the mattress, angry at himself for being such a mess and a little angry at Sam for being so understanding. He knew he was acting like a freaking girl and he hated it...but he still couldn't fully believe he was really out. One second he'd been cutting some guys finger off and the next he'd been in his coffin. What had happened? He knew Alastair would never have let him go, not until he was a loyal demon. So was this some sort of trap? Were they after Sammy too now and using Dean to get to him? Dean closed his eyes, it would not happen! He would not let Alastair ever get near Sam. He knew he'd eventually have to tell Sam about what he'd done and he feared that when Sam leant how far he'd fallen Sammy would leave him, despite what Sam had said earlier. Why would he stay with a monster who had enjoyed torturing other souls? He tensed when the door opened but it was only Sam, holding bags of food in one hand and a tray with coffee cups in the other. Sam smiled as soon as he saw Dean and he couldn't help smiling back.

"Told you I wouldn't be long. Got your favourites, pie too." Sam told him and Dean's smile widened.

"You remembered pie." Dean whispered and Sam's smile softened.

"I always do. Come on, eat up." Sam handed him a bag and Dean opened it, slowly beginning to eat and savouring every mouthful. Sam sat beside him, letting their shoulders brush occasionally as they ate in silence.

"What now?" Dean asked after they'd sat in silence for a while.

"Do you want to try and figure out how you came back? We could go see Bobby, let him know you're back." Sam offered and Dean chewed his bottom lip. Bobby...did he want to see the older hunter? Hell, would Bobby want to see him? Dean thought about it and then realised that yes, he did want to see Bobby again.

"Bobby." He finally answered and Sam nodded. Dean showered again while Sam packed and then they headed out of the motel. Dean hesitated and then slid into the passenger seat; grudgingly realising he wasn't ready to drive yet. Sam blinked but then got in, squeezing Dean's hand before he started the engine and hit the highway. Dean relaxed and let the familiar motions and sounds of his baby plus Sam's presence lull him to sleep. They'd be at Bobby's soon enough and then he'd have to start dealing with the rest of the world but until then it was just the three of them.

_The End.  
__Felt like doing my own version of them meeting up after Dean got out of hell. This is it though, no more. _


End file.
